what is a sausage without it's skin?
In the days before the Battle of Hamburger in the year 1619 a cavalry raid took place far to the flank of the assembling armies. It was nothing more than a small force of horse with orders to interdict enemy supplies. Capture what you can, burn or spoil the rest. A simple enough mission but, in this case, fraught with potentialities.
As it was, the horsemen found a train of wagons loaded with barrels. Inside those barrels were miles of brined animal intestine; the sort of thing used as casing for sausages. Thinking that the casing would be slow to move and of little value they broke the barrels and burned the wagons before driving away the farmers and stealing their horses. A small thing in the greater scope of the war one would think. But not in this case, the simple act of vandalism gave birth to a much larger controversy. The Hamburger.
Those barrels belonged to an enterprising merchant who had bought up all of the casing for miles around and then struck a deal to deliver sufficient casing to provide both armies with sausage to their troopers. Sausage was a staple food in both armies; otherwise unpalatable meat could be mixed with binder and spice and provide a satisfying meal to a Proper Mealer trooper, or could be tucked into a split loaf of bread for snacking by a Small Plater. The merchant stood to get rich if he could only deliver the supplies to the attendant chefs. Then this disaster struck!
On the day before the battle the chefs had gotten up early and begun grinding the meat, adding the spices and binder and allowing the mix to age slightly before preparing to push it into the sausage filling machines. But alas! No casing arrived! Frantic messengers were sent in search of the missing shipments. The countryside was combed through for the missing merchant (who, upon hearing of the raid had high-tailed it out of the area and caught ship for distant lands!). All that was found was the stinking burnt remains of the wagons and their load.
Needless to say the chefs were desperate. The meat, which could have been made into a stew or soup, was already ground, mixed and aged. It would have to be cooked and served in some way or the troops would go into battle hungry with a concomitant reduction in morale (neither side knew that the opposition was in the same sorry circumstances). By a bizarre set of circumstances chefs on both sides came up with the same resolution to the crisis. Form the meat into patties and then grill it over a flame. The Small Platers served thin patties inside biscuits with cheese and onions atop the meat. The troops, at first suspicion of the arrangement, came to like the repast and nicknamed them "Sliders". The Proper Meal cooks, looking to replace the missing meat in the third course, molded the ground flesh to replicate the shape of a steak, christening the product "Chopped Steak". The troops took to it readily remarking that it was far tastier and easier to chew than the army's usual version of steak which had earned the nickname "Old Boot".
These emergency measures were cast aside by the chefs as soon as supplies of casing could be located and proper sausages could be made; but troopers on both sides began to inquire about the "Hamburger" a name popularized by it's association with the town that also gave it's name to the subsequent battle. They began to sneak away and grind their own meat into patties and prepare it upon hastily constructed grills of greenwood branches (which they claimed gave the meat a particular flavor depending on the wood used). Efforts were made on both sides to quash this new source of dissension, but the tastes of the soldiers were not to be denied. Secret groups began assemble away from the camps or barracks for what the soldiers glibly referred to as "cookouts" and an entire sub-culture developed around this habit. To confuse the authorities seeking to suppress this heresy the soldiers used the code word "barbecue" (a bit of verbal nonsense designed to sow confusion) when speaking of such assemblies.
From small things such new controversies are born!
